Because you spent so much time shooting up, you're lagging when it comes to great literature. Don't fret that you're still reading at a fourth-grade level. By the time you've read enough Mr. Mannerz posts, you'll be up to speed and will be able to have a relatively intelligent conversation about literature.
You haven't the time to read the great classics cover to cover. I'm afraid you haven't the time for Cliff's Notes or Sparks Notes either. So the Mr. Mannerz abbreviated-abridged-mini version will have to suffice. Let's begin with The Picture of Dorian Gray.
Book: The Picture of Dorian Gray.
Author: Oscar Wilde
Publication Date: 1890
Country: United Kingdom
Summary: Artist Basil Howard paints an exquisite painting of his muse Dorian Gray. Dorian wants to live life to the fullest, so he wishes for the painting to grow old, as opposed to him. Dorian falls in and out of love with actress Sybil Vane. The painting starts to age. He goes back to profess his love, but too late, she's already killed herself. He grows frightened of the painting and locks it up. Over the years, he indulges in the hedonistic joys of life as the painting grows uglier and older. Dorian runs into Basil years later, who is shocked and his former muse's behavior. He pleads with Dorian to change his ways, but his nagging leads D to kill him.
Dorian fears someone will find out his dreadful secret and goes to an opium den to self-medicate—just like you did during your meth period. Sybil's brother James tracks him down after all these years. He wants to kill his sister's heartbreaker, but Dorian convinces him that he couldn't possibly be the same guy. Since he hasn't aged physically, James believes him and goes about his business. James is accidentally killed at a hunting party days later and this scares Dorian straight. He retrieves the closet and stabs it with the same knife he used on Basil. When the house staff enters the room, they see the original painting in its young glory, and an old, shrivled up dead man on the floor. The end. Now you've read The Picture of Dorian Gray.
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