What Am I: Food I

My precious, little dreg of society. For some time now you've been going to various restaurants (with napkins made of natural fibers, of course) and ordering food you're barely able to pronounce. Since my goal is to avoid embarrassment for the both of us, I want to prepare you for situations that don't involve menus.

The time will soon come when you're invited to a posh dinner party and your hostess may present you with some funny looking edibles. Fret not, we'll go over the basics and you'll be prepared for anything a true gourmand will send your way.


Here's a quick quiz. You know Mr. Mannerz can't resist a quiz—but this time, I'll give you the answer. Is the above dish:


a. Coq au vin

b. Fettucine alfredo

c. Sundubu jjigae

d. Bouillabaisse


The answer is d: bouillabaisse. The traditional Provençal fish stew is something your hostess whips up to convince herself and her guests that she's the reincarnated Julia Child. The dish is comprised of ingredients that have never touched your lips: fennel, saffron, pain de campagne, sea urchins, lotte; etc. The closest you've come to bouillabaisse so far is a fishstick.